I was overcooked.
I waited and waited to come out of my mommy's belly, and finally, weeks after I was supposed to come out, my mother had my stubborn self surgically extricated from her uterus. If not for the forced abrupt exit, I would still be there to this day, my 40-something body ironically not in the fetal position, luxuriating in the moist warmth of the womb, and in my ability to be nourished through the magic tube connected to my belly button.
Instead, I'm out. Lucky you.
Cut to present day...
I am a cynical Bostonite living the Midwest who has adopted the shaky delusion that exposing the full range of my dumbest thoughts will give my life relevance and resonance, and inspire faceless millions respect me as if I deserve it.
When life gives you lemons, fling them against a tall, hard vertical surface...
