For a limited time, the folks at Golden Grahams are giving consumers of breakfast cereal a golden opportunity – a Bat cowl right on the box:
Remember the days when you had to mail in
proofs of purchase to get something cool from
your cereal box? Those days are over.
proofs of purchase to get something cool from
your cereal box? Those days are over.
Much like the push-button telephone and the iPad, this is a game-changer. In fact, it can safely be said that this is not a box of cereal with a Batman cowl on it – this is in fact a Batman cowl with a box of cereal strapped to its ass. See what I did there?
As mom always said, anything worthwhile in life is not easy. And fashioning a Bat cowl from a cereal box is no different. Below are step-by-step instructions to help you through the process:
1. Cut along the dotted lines to extract the cowl from the box. Scissors work best.
WARNING: DO NOT try a butter knife!
2. Cut out the eye holes. Use the point of the scissors to poke through the center of the dotted area, and carefully maneuver the scissors to cut around the dotted line.
3. Cut out the holes on either side of the mask. A hole puncher works best here. You can try to use the scissors, but the results will not be as clean or professional.
WARNING: Your excitement and resulting desire to wear the cowl may tempt you to skip this step. Do not do this. You will need these holes. Also note that trying to put on your cowl at this point in the process will not work and you could damage your cowl.
4. Here you will need string with a thickness of at least 2 mm and a tensile strength of 3 lbs. I recommend this online brand, or you can acquire a comparable substitute at most home improvement retailers.
Measure the string so that it goes around the circumference of your head.
NOTE: Make sure the string is against your head and ABOVE your ears.
It is better to have a string that is too long, rather than too short. You can trim the excess later if necessary.
5. Take either end of the string and slide them through the holes. While it is much easier to slide the string through the eye holes, do not do this. Your cowl will not fit properly. Use only the small holes you made the hole puncher. The weave and fiber type of the string may affect the ease of this procedure.
6. Secure the string as shown on one side. The preferred knot is a square knot, as this can be undone easily for adjustments.
For the second knot in the opposite side, pull the string until it is comfortably taut around your head as shown. Tie second knot.
7. Congratulations! You are now ready to use your Batman cowl. Slide it over your head, until your eyes are level with the eye holes from Step 2.
Aren’t you glad you didn’t put the string through the eye holes?
You can also adjust the string to make the cowl fit children.
"Really, Dad? Really?"
And that’s it! Now you can pretend to be Michael Keaton or Christian Bale (the only two real Batmans) without the exorbitant cost and humiliating eBay experience. And you get to enjoy the honey goodness of Golden Grahams to boot.
For those who were unable to follow along, I do manufacture these cowls upon request for the heavily discounted price of $9.95 ($3.50 for the box, .95 cents for the shipping, and $5.00 construction and cereal-consuming fee). Just send me an e-mail to inquire.
Next Week: Don't want to spend through the nose on Joker make-up? Learn how to create the same effect with Miracle Whip, tomato ketchup, and shoe polish.
